Things have been going up and down lately. Dealing with a major crisis of being unemployed. Haven’t gotten any job interviews. Had a bunch of those last summer, but didn’t get very far. I have my Associate’s Degree, and I thought that would be enough. I’m not that creative and I do things on a need to know basis. It’s difficult for me to stay positive 24/7 when reality keeps hitting me in the face over and over.
When that happens I dwell in my mind very often and it gets heavy in there. I go to therapy weekly. Even that is starting to wear off a little, but this past session, I suggested exposure therapy to help me cope a little better.
Being a positive robot is tiresome especially when it feels like there’s no tangible results. I’m fucking tired. I want a job and I want to work I put applications weekly and I can’t find anything else to do besides that. I follow up every two weeks, so I don’t seem overbearing. Everything costs money. It costs money to travel, money for transportation.
Looking for a way out, and not sure what it is yet. Writing and blogging is all I can do right now to get all of my thoughts out. While being optimistic is good but I don’t want to suppress all of the other feelings. While I feel knocked down and constantly discouraged, I’m trying to keep my head up.