This week I had another episode I was at least able to take my exam. Not much sleep, but remaining positive. Insomnia is in full effect. I’m dealing with it the best way I can. Hopefully next week I will be able to volunteer, and get out for a bit. It’s just a matter of transportation is all.
Unfortunately, this is another long journey I have to walk down. I was close to meeting someone over the weekend it didn’t work out so I’ve had my fits this week and just allowing myself to let it go. Dating is probably not the best thing for me right now given my situation. I’m not on the right track, losing sleep, can’t afford driving lessons, I am trying to get my health in order, and I’m trying to finish school. To invite someone else into my life would not be ideal.
In general, dating in the digital age is difficult as hell and I’ve been out of the dating game in so long I’m not sure what men are looking for anymore anyway. My confidence has gotten better, but I have to refocus my attention on developing better work and organization habits. I’ll be looking into doing IT work and figure out some way to get around better, maybe use a cab service if needed.
Even though I haven’t had a date in almost four years I do have a little bit of hope but now I’m not about anything. From experience, men love independent women. Women who have their own place, a stable income, and can learn how to have fun on their own. I’m nowhere near on that level. Maybe this time was given to me to develop that part of my life, and then I can attract a man with similar qualities. For now my health, and having a better social life is what’s more important.
Finally, to give myself some credit, I have been doing very well in school I pray and hope that next year will be my final year, and I pray that the financial aid will extend so I can follow through with my classes. Luckily it processed successfully, and hoping that the school will accept it. Another thing I have to work on is taking advantage of working from home. On the days that I feel 100% I need to give it my full attention. On the days I’m not I need to at least write so my day is more productive. Optimism doesn’t come easy for me, but I know the things I go through will make me stronger.